Oh yes indeed, I’m marvelling at how wonderfully you handled all of that! You should be very proud of yourself, dpac. The building of emotional resilience shines through that post!
Welllll, I’ll have my say (although it’s your thread) but I believe you deserve far better than the type of relationship he currently has on offer, far better. Until he extricates himself, with proven and lasting conviction, from his previous relationship, he’s too entangled with his past, and just dragging you into his resultant ongoing mess. I really hope he leaves her (which doesn’t sound likely for the reasons you’ve noticed on both sides) or if not, you can save yourself from further distress, by walking away. Because you are worth a genuine, full commitment.