Originally Posted by NoGoingBack

Thanks everyone for the kind and inspiring words. It means a lot.

Feeling a lot of resentment towards myself for the things I said and did. Kind of got me to thinking, if the tables were turned, how would I feel about someone I loved behaving in the way I have, and how much forgiveness would I find in myself? What would it take for me to begin to forgive them, what could they do to prove themselves?

This is tricky stuff and it’s bothering me.

Also, I came home from work today to find 1; a letter from the mediation people who my solicitor has made a referral to on my behalf. I have to attend an initial meeting to discuss seeing my children and they’ll contact my ex partner to offer her an appointment too. Last time I went down this road, she agreed an appointment and then cancelled it at the last minute.

I was still drinking back then so hopefully the fact I’m now clean and sober and can prove it might carry some weight. I’m not optimistic.

2; A letter from the court regarding the fines I received due to breaching the restraining order by texting my children, this is an attachment of earnings order to the tune of £725. They’ll take 65% of my wages until it’s paid. Very grateful to have my job, and because of it, the ability to pay it in full tomorrow. That’s a huge thing for someone like me, and it stings a bit, but the beauty of sobriety is that I’m able to. I’m going to stick it to ‘the man ‘ by paying my dues and moving the hell on.

I’d like to check in for another 24 hours of freedom from the insanity.

Getting it done, one day at a time.

Peace and love
James