Hi sparkleleaf, I'm so sorry you're hurting.
It's good your head understands his reasoning, but it will take your heart some time to accept it, I'm sure. Make sure to take good care of yourself right now as you grieve. Try not to take this personally--if he isn't ready, he isn't ready. The right person will not "make" him ready before it's time. It isn't about you or anything you did or said.
A relationship with an active addict can be a nightmare for everyone; if he felt his sobriety was threatened it's good for both of you that he called things off. That quick intensity was definitely a red flag. It's good that he recognized it.