Sometimes I hesitate to pipe in...I've never had a physical craving. I was absolutely dependent on alcohol and had it in my body nearly 24/7 by the end. I am grateful that I was so fatally ill that when I finally quit, the mere idea of putting anymore in my body was repulsive, and not an option if I wanted to live.
I'm an AA person. The mental obsession was lifted with the steps, as you hear people say. In any words you use, the option was just off the table if I wanted the kind of life I took the risk on being out there for me.
The idea of maybe an idea to kinda plan to maybe drink popped in once in early sobriety - and like any good alcoholic, it was on day 90. My dad was around me and sensed I was getting squirrelly. We went to dinner and a mtg and I went to bed. I kept working my program.
I had back surgery 6 wks ago and the short version of an experience I had last wk was that after being awake for 36 hrs, desperately over-caffeinated and dehydrated and so on...I was getting dressed with the ubiquitous glass of sparkling water and lime on my dresser, and it suddenly looked like the kind of vodka drink I used to make. No clue why that popped up for the first time ever, other than...I'm an alcoholic who hadn't taken care of business in the preceding day and a half.
I know what to do about all this and just have to do it. Telling on myself - like everyone is doing here by sharing their experiences- is the key. I shared that whole ordeal with my husband - the emotional part being more important than that one thought or how I felt physically.
To me, we never know what the first thought (or craving) might be - but the second thought and first action are always up to us.
Also - I was surprised at first when I would hear people decades in say they still get cravings...but I think that's part of anyone's journey sometimes, and it's ok.
We just have to keep going and know it will pass.
| "Sometimes, I've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast." - Alice in Wonderland |