Today is one year to the day since I last saw my 28 year old son.
It's hard, and with the holidays coming, of course I want to reach out to him...but who is he? Not the young man I miss so very much. He's not the same person, and he has treated me terribly.
I keep reminding myself that the only way he finds his way to health and recovery is on his own. And that someday when he gets well and reaches out to me, I will be here, and he will be a better man for climbing his own way out of where he is now. I pray that his bottom will not result in serious harm to himself or anyone else, but there is not a thing I can do to prevent this from happening.
Someone in an al-anon meeting said recently, "After helping my son for 3 years, I realized that nothing I did was helping". Nothing will until they want it...don't make it easy for him to continue this way by supporting him.
I hold onto hope, but I will not put myself back in the way of an active alcoholic.
Elliemae, take care of yourself, and let him go.