Thank you to my support team. I have an emotional hangover this morning! Last night when I got home, I apologized to my husband about trying to control him with money. He said that I was right to be annoyed and that the situation is not right. He had gone out and bought several of the large bottles of beer. So the money he is spending is not a large amount. It is not like he is buying lots of expensive drugs or anything. Then we went for a walk with the dogs and I started talking to him about a used car one of my co-workers is selling. He started making comments about how this person was not trying to do me any favors and that we would probabaly get skrewed on the deal etc. Well it made me cry because he is often so negitive about situations. Like you might as well shoot yourself because you can't fix bad situations - like Charlie Brown, you can never win. This is what he does to me, pushes me toward my tendancy to feel hopeless. So when we got back to the house I cried and cried and then went to bed.
I did not sleep well and woke up about 2:30 and could not get back to sleep. This is so unusual for me and it has happened twice in a week. I have a long day ahead of me here and a class tonight until 10pm. yuch.
Somehow I will figgure this all out. Last night I was feeling like Charlie Brown, I always felt so bad for him because I identify with his plight. Then this morning I was listening to the stories of the Iraci people and I felt like my problems were small in comparison. Thanks for your love and support.