Depression and alcoholism
Hello everyone,
Several years ago I started to feel unmotivated to do anything. I have general anxiety, lot's of stress, highly responsibly job. I live abroad and couldn't get any help from local health care system so I went to see private psychiatrist. They put me on SSRI's and I felt great. 1 year ago I decided to wean off, because I thought I can manage on my own. Did that and slowly got back into feeling empty. Now it's even worse.
I come to work and it takes enormous amounts of will for me to do simple tasks. I drink 5 cups of coffee, 2000mg piracetam, some nicotine and I might be able to work for an hour or two, then come back home and do nothing for the rest of the day. I almost never cook for myself, because I don't have the motivation to do that, I rather stay hungry. I do not enjoy anything I used to enjoy, I spend my time watching youtube and overthink about work.
I'm posting this, because I feel like I can't make decisions on my own and I need some advice how to proceed with my situation. Meds scare me, but I can't keep going like this.
My wife does not like that idea me coming back on meds, because she says I look like a zombie on them. Tomorrow I'll be 1 year sober from alcohol, my only escape from this empty feeling.