Rose,
I agree with Cajun. But if you believe you were using money to control him you are in the one in a position to know. That is today.
You can slowly separate things so the next time when it isn't a move to control him you will be prepared to back it up. Like we talk about having a plan.
I know it would fry my behind to hand over my earnings for anything except our common bills. As it is I withhold a portion for myself. Could you do that? Direct deposit to a separate acct for emergencies? YOUR emergencies?
Hugs,
JT