Originally Posted by
AAPJ 
Meatball there have been other polls concerning AA on this site and best I can tell about half of the successful SR members used/use AA. It is the single largest recovery group/method around. That said a lot of folks for various reasons do not use AA and you seem to have great concerns about your privacy. If you want to maintain your privacy then I suggest that you find a professionally trained therapist and pay them for weekly visits. They have a professional obligation to maintain your privacy but from a legal standpoint, there really is not much you can do if you attend the local AA meeting and someone recognizes you and talks about your attendance to others.
So in the end it's a financial decision. Pay a professional therapist and have an obligation of privacy or go to cheap/free AA meetings and take your chances.
It's way more complicated than that for many people.
TL/DR version...You get a lot more out of therapy than sobriety, so factor that in if it's just a cost decision. Although AA is a solid recovery strategy, it's not for everyone, there are other paths. First look at your reasons for not going like reputation and shame, and reevaluate. If AA truly isn't for you, try another path, but have SOME program of recovery. SR is a great resource for researching recovery methods. Make a commitment and start your journey.
The long version....So about half of the successful site members used AA. Putting aside that I'm not sure where you got that statistic and how you define "successful," which means about half of the site didn't use AA.
I put "other." My journey began with inpatient rehab, which was 12 Step based (as in many rehabs, most people did not have alcohol as their primary substance, in my case it is). So as part of their program, I did a number of 12 Step meetings. From the beginning, it didn't feel quite right, but I just went with it and gave it a go. When got out of inpatient I continued with meetings until I could start my outpatient rehab 6 weeks later. I got a sponsor and started working the steps, but again, it felt like a square peg in a round hole. At that time I joined Sober Recovery and started applying the AVRT principle, and investigated SMART meetings. The outpatient program was cognitive-based and dual diagnosis, and I learned a lot of tools to manage cravings as well as underlying anxiety and depression. After I got a therapist who had been through 12 Step recovery for sex addiction, and we used some basic 4th Step work in the beginning, but that was more a framework for what we were doing. I needed therapy to deal with and work through a lot of old trauma, and has been helpful to me in far deeper ways than sobriety.
So yes, AA is free and therapy is not, but I got a lot out of therapy that I wouldn't have out of attending AA meetings. Looking back AA was useful in the beginning just to get to Step 1. I got that about two weeks into rehab, once I'd been through detox and my head started to clear. At that point I made the "big plan" per AVRT to never drink again, although at the time I'd never heard AVRT. I just decided that I didn't ever want to do rehab again, and the only way to be sure of that was to never touch drop of alcohol again in my life. I really needed rehab to detox and to cement in my thick skull that I REALLY had an addiction problem and it wasn't going to go away on its own. The 12 Step was helpful, but I don't believe it was essential. I've even modified Step 1. I'm not powerless over alcohol, I very much have the power to never drink a drop of booze again. HOWEVER, if I take one sip, all bets are off. So instead of a whole program of steps, it boils down to one thing. Don't take that first sip. Once I got to that point, the rest was making sure I stayed there. At this point I know I will never drink again. Ever. It's just a fact, and it's not negotiable.
Now that was my journey. There are people I very much trust and admire in life, on the site, and even in this thread who have successfully used AA to remain alcohol-free and build their sober lives. AA worked for them, and I'm not going to knock AA just because it didn't work for me. AA has worked for millions and has been around for a long time. But it's not for everyone, just as my journey isn't for everyone.
There is only one road to recovery, and it's called whatever works for you.
That all being said, don't knock it until you try it. If your only reason not to go to meetings is your reputation, I don't think that's a strong enough reason. Admitting you have a problem and taking steps to deal with it is a HUGE sign of strength and an accomplishment that most people never have to earn. I took the opposite path and told everyone that I was in recovery. Addiction is nothing to be proud of, but having a problem that difficult and successfully solving it shows tremendous courage and dedication and strength of character. Also the more people around me that know the better, as they'll know if I show up hungover on a Monday, for example, and will not let me get away with it. Although I know I will never drink again, insurance is always a good thing. Recovery isn't just something I did, it's part of who I am. The response I've gotten when I tell people, including a lot of perfect strangers with whom I've been in conversations is overwhelmingly supportive and positive. Remember that many people are touched by addiction who aren't addicts themselves, and I get a lot of stories like "My mom was an alcoholic and I saw what she went through, so good for you!"
Again, that's my strategy, it might not work for you. That's OK. But do SOMETHING to further your sobriety, craft your own program if AA is an absolute no for you. This problem won't cure itself. SR is a great resource. Share your experiences and really define the extent of your problem. Then come up with a recovery plan, and share THAT on the site, make yourself accountable.
But get on the bus somehow, and take steps to be sure you don't get off.