courage, I totally understand and agree because my father living alone was not a pretty sight. Cases of vodka in the garage, layers of dust in his home, spoiled food in the fridge. It took months to clean out after I moved him into assisted living where he lived for almost 2.5 years. But again I can honestly say that now I have some really great memories of my parents, I think of them often and smile.
Aly, I hope your back is OK and I also hope that being of service makes you feel really good because there is nothing that I enjoy more after many years in recovery than being present for others, people or animals. The relationships I've made and experiences that I've had have made up for 27 years of alcoholism and depression.