I think your husband is right not to fight her in court. He's 17 and the courts sometimes let 12 year olds choose which parent they'd like to live with. If I understand correctly, you've been in a stepmother role for over 6 years, so it makes sense that you are heavily invested in his future. However, hard as it may be for you, it's up to his mother and father to decide where he goes to school. And if his father chooses to leave it up to his mother entirely, I think you should respect his decision. I'm very sorry. Being a stepparent seems so difficult. I really don't know if I'd be able to handle it myself.