DD8 is on week two of really processing all of this stuff. She is trying to rally, but she is tired, cranky, has less capacity for frustration than before, and frankly misses her dad. I think the open-ended explanation of his treatment plan before he really knew what he was doing or where he was going really ramped up her anxiety. I have been extra-loving and am trying to give her space and time to express herself about all of this, but she seems to have learned two of the cardinal rules of living with alcoholism: don't talk about it, don't have feelings about it. She has said outright that she can't talk about it with her grandparents or dad, that they get "upset" about it. My experience with them is that they collectively gaslight and deny that anything exists there at all. This is, to them, the second rehab (of five) he's been to as a sober man!
The loving grandparents have not bothered to contact her (or me) in over two weeks, since before XAH left for rehab again. She has noticed their absence.
We are hanging in there. This series of events has brought up a lot of complicated feelings for me that have been dormant, predominantly how resentful I am at being stuck in Indiana, earning very little, scraping the bottom of the barrel, to facilitate her visitations with these mfers. I'm also angry at how the effects of XAH's alcoholism, even after all this time, spill over to our side of the street. She's seeing a therapist, I'm seeing a therapist, time marches on.