Oh no doubt it probably has something to do with it. It's like having a horrible dentist or dental experience as a child, it can follow you around for years.
I mean that can trigger a host of fears of being abandoned and helpless. That's kind of the message here. You are no longer abandoned or helpless - you are grown up and you get to make your own decisions.
That's what I meant about being in control of your Dr.'s appointment. Sure if you walk out that might be counter productive, sure if he says you should have an ultrasound and you choose not to that may be counterproductive but that does not take away from the fact that it is your choice.
Until you accept that, that you have yourself now, it will be really really hard to move forward with getting this help.
Yes, ideally you could find a psych and get mentally well before trying to attempt all this, but that's not working out right now so you need to go to plan B perhaps.
If you truly can't? Then you need to walk in to a psych ward perhaps and insist they help you and sit there until you get the help you need or in to see someone or have a treatment plan set up.