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Old 09-06-2019, 01:44 PM
  # 17 (permalink)  
CellarDoor123
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2019
Posts: 11
Thank you all for the advice. It seems as though you all were right in saying that 6 months is too soon to jump back into a relationship...

I spoke with him and sorta laid down the law and said that he couldn't hurt me again and that if we were to try things again seriously, it would have to be for real this time & that we'd have to have forever in mind because I couldn't take anymore hurt. It wouldn't be fair.
He came back and pretty much said that he couldn't guarantee me that he wouldn't hurt me again and that anything could happen. He also admitted that since the 2 times we hung out he already felt himself putting his recovery a bit on the back burner.
Ok. Fine. I said let's pump the breaks and just take the time to focus on making ourselves stronger so that we can work towards being together eventually.

Literally a week later he texted me and said that he ended up kissing the girl he was seeing casually before we got together again. She's from his NA program and they had spent the day together going to meetings with her roommate and his gf. He said he felt proud of himself for resisting the urge to have sex after the kiss and was able to walk away from the situation. I know sex is a drug too. He was toying with the idea of not telling me but ultimately he knew he had to be honest with me upfront and was proud of himself for being honest. This doesn't excuse his actions at all and quite frankly I am tired of using his addiction as an excuse to accept hurt unto myself.

This was finally the straw that broke the camels back that gave me what I needed to finally walk away from this relationship. I know we weren't officially back together but in my mind we were working on ourselves to get to that point. Clearly he still had no self control in respecting me if he's already kissing another girl a week after we had hooked up.

Actions speak louder than words and his actions have said enough. At least now I know that this is something I don't want for myself. I will never be able to trust him again knowing that he's come back to me 3 times saying one thing, and then ends up always doing something to hurt me.

I hope someone else can learn from my situation <3 Look out for yourself!
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