Originally Posted by
SmartRose 
It is like you read my mind because this is exactly what I was thinking about and telling myself this morning in the shower. The money thing has been a big issue and a constant worry in my mind. Regardless of drugs, his money goes somewhere.
I think it helps so much to recognize things like this with a drug addict. They are amazing manipulators, so having something really solid they cannot twist out of is helpful for those of us that want to be caring and reasonable and are prone to have that understanding side which is so easily used against us.
Most of my own experience is with my brothers - so very different than having a spouse that's abusing. But I did briefly have a boyfriend that was using and lying about it/normalizing it. It really helped me personally to be able to say "You made $5K in the last three weeks and every penny is gone. I don't care why. " He was staying at my house during this time, and I had already dealt with the family issues so my knowledge was high and my tolerance very low. I got rid of him without an ounce of guilt because I was able to recognize things that were not normal or healthy and say I wasn't willing to live with that. (I am not suggesting you leave him - that is for you to decide, but the boundaries and consciousness about what is normal help so much with our own sanity.)