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Old 08-29-2019, 05:44 PM
  # 16 (permalink)  
bluelight44
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Join Date: Aug 2019
Posts: 73
Originally Posted by sheepherder View Post
Yes, I do see I'll have to do things by myself unfortunately and see if this behavior continues.

I got home from work today, and he was obviously drunk in the garage.
He came over to help me with my equipment, but I brought it in myself. I don't want him to drop anything.
He then accused me of being cranky.
I said nothing. I'm trying not to say anything about it and figure I'm saving money on rolls of duct tape lol.
He came in later and went upstairs to sleep it off.
Then before he left with his ride to work tonight, he came in my office and said, "You're just like my mother!!"
(What an insult. Really. The most abusive person I knew, but not an alcoholic. I had to take a deep breath.)
Me: "Gee, thanks."
Him: "See? You're just trying to control me!!! You always want me to change!"
Me: "Doh. I do admit I hope you change, my dear, but it looks like you're not going to. What a bummer."
Him: "Now you're trying to get me to feel guilty! I refuse to feel guilty!"
Me: "Great. Don't you have a job to get to?"
Him: "Every time I say how I feel, I'm ignored! Everything is about you and your feelings and how I hurt you. Nothing is about me!"
Me: "Yes, that kinda is my priority now, how I feel. Go figure."
And with that, he left. What a jerk. I burst out crying when he was gone.

Maybe he's getting upset that I didn't react to his drinking today? I don't know. It's still very stressful.

"
I'm so so sorry you are going through all of this...! I just wanted to share that this entire conversation you've laid out here sounds verbatim to what my xABF would say to me. He would say all of these things! It's amazing the similarities. It's almost like these are very primal defensive responses that come out once the brain has been damaged enough and lost the ability to control impulse, adjust to new perspectives, read emotional cues, etc. Very tragic.
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