SmartRose, It's so so good you found this place. You are not crazy! You don't have to prove anything to anyone, you just have you figure out what you are going to do because you cannot control anything he is going to do.
If you can find a nearby Al-anon or Nar-Anon meeting asap it will be a huge help. Roomful of people that get it, have been through it, and realized they are not crazy, either.
Make sure to take especially good care of yourself. Loving an addict doesn't have to mean we let their addictions steal all of our health and happiness.