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Old 08-27-2019, 12:10 PM
  # 6 (permalink)  
atalose's Avatar
Join Date: Jun 2006
Posts: 5,104
It's so difficult because I often feel like I KNOW something is wrong, but I can never prove it.
I remember when I was caught up in the “having to prove it stage”. Part of me had a need a drive to prove my point of view, to prove I was seeing what I was seeing and that I was right, he was in fact abusing pills. Then another part of me wanted to continue to believe the lies he told me because then I wouldn’t have to make the hard decisions I was so afraid of making.

Playing cat and mouse with an active addict never turns out as we think it will. We catch them, we show them our “proof” we think they will then surrender and admit it and want to seek help. That’s what fantasies are all about. Reality is all about those pills which are a lifeline for your active addict and the more you attempt to cut off or get in the way of that life line the more resentful and aggressive he can become.

Now is the time that you might want to seek out some counseling for yourself. Maybe give al-anon or nar-anon a try. Read as much as you can about addiction and especially about addict behaviors. The one thing I would suggest is that you take any and all measures to guard your money, your accounts, your assets in order to protect yourself. It’s so more us or we, right now it has to become all about you. He’s caught up in this addiction and there is nothing you can say or do to change that for him. He is the only one who can come to the decision to surrender and sadly most addict won’t do that.
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