Hi everyone. I am new here. I was referred by someone in a Facebook group for childless adults. I really need a place to talk, vent, and get some advice until I can find a good counselor to begin seeing to help me get my thoughts straight.
I have a long story, so I will try to make it short. Husband and I have been together for about 5 years. No children for either of us and age is not on our side. We have undergone fertility treatments with no luck. Recently discovered that he has low counts, so now taking time to increase the counts. But last night, I discovered a bag of pills (hydrocodone), and I am guessing this is part of the drop in his count.
Back story: my husband was into drugs and alcohol as a teen. Pretty hardcore. But when I met him he had cleaned up his life, didn't drink or smoke. Through our time together, I've had suspicions. I found some pills a couple years ago. They were hydrocodone too. And he never has money. He even stole money from me. He always has excuses and reasons he needs money. He makes me feel bad for him because he has no family support and has had to work from the bottom up to be successful. I suspect many lies, but it has been difficult to find proof.
He has said he is not taking pills anymore and he has done a little better helping with bills but still has money troubles. He does payday loans and lies about them. I never see his mail but find them sometimes hidden. The secrets are killing me and I bring them up to him only to be told that I'm the problem. I know that is not true but idk where to go from here.
Every so often, I just feel he is being weirder than normal and secretive. So last night I checked his old hiding spot, and there was a bag of about 41 hydrocodone. Today they are moved so pretty sure he guesses that I saw them. I think he places things in a certain way to see if they get moved, so he knows if I've been searching. So, there goes his share of the bill money, and now I wonder what's going on every time he shuts the door to the bathroom.
He is not an angry person or physically or verbally abusive. He mostly just shuts down when upset. He has a lot of anxiety he doesn't deal with.
I guess I just don't know where to go from here. At this point, I feel like I'm the one going crazy and I feel like I'm fighting a losing battle.
I will be confronting him, but I do not know how. I do know not to be accusing or angry and to let him know that I do love him, but it is time to put my foot down, and I'm not sure how to make that happen. He has basically ignored me all day. I know that he knows that I am upset. He probably knows or suspects that I saw the pills, so now he is in avoidance mode. Any advice or support is welcome!
