Originally Posted by
entropy1964 
Haha. No I'm not. And 5 lbs on me is literally a clothing size so its doesn't take much.
I know I'm not fat. I also have a horrid relationship with food. And body image issues....so its a tough topic for me.
Believe me, I have brought this stuff up in rehab, because my drinking is tied to my self esteem issues and body image problems, and would get angrily shut down by other women because they think "ok you aren't fat so just shut the **** up".
I know its a tough thing. In a society where most people are huge now, being 10 lbs overweight is considered thin. I remember always being the fat kid. Always being put on diets when I was a child. Being teased relentlessly at school.
Argh. Yeah. I'll go away! Haha. Its hard to be understood....blah. Nevermind
Entropy, you are my soul sister. You just described me to a T. I have a problem with food. It quieted down while I was drinking, but I took clean eating to extremes when I got sober. Im 4ft 11 and 10 lbs is 10 % of my body weight, so yes, I have to buy new clothes when that happens. Everyone says I am tiny, but I know that I am skinny fat. Not much muscle and pretty out of shape.
People find me ridiculous when I do not indulge in a cupcake. They do not get it. I do not want A cupcake, I want 6. If I ate 6, the shame I feel is deep and then fast I feel like I need to for so long and I am miserable. It all centers in my mind. Im pretty sure its not normal. Im glad to hear I am not the only one who struggles with this in sobriety.
I would feel ridiculous and laughed right out of OA if I ever went to a meeting. Nobody wants to hear from the 97 lb girls complaining about a cupcake.