My heart really goes out to you Tatsy. When I think about what it would be like to have it all start back up..... it makes me shudder.
This is the fight of your life.
Only you can break the spell, the Maya, the illusion. Find the separation again.
I'll echo that I think the plan here needs to be ramped up, some kind of real life action. Throw everything at it. Be prepared to do whatever you need to do, no matter how much your ego, or AV objects.