Sorry I haven't been back to this thread in a while but I'm glad you're sticking with it Tatsy. Couldn't agree more with Hawkeye about yoga..
About AVRT, I used to think it was a strange concept too, sort of counter productive.. Now I see it as a kind of inner compass, guiding me towards my "higher self" and away from anything that would put me on a path of destruction.
I think the AV is really just a manifestation of the "original wounds" that have in part shaped my addictive tendencies. Which is not to say I'm perpetually a victim, but that in recognizing the underlying patterns I'm empowered to transcend them.
Whatever is going on, your current circumstances don't define you Tatsy and there's nothing you can't face or overcome without alcohol.