I wouldn't worry too much about forgiveness at this point, how about just being kind to yourself?
Acceptance is helpful, accept that all this happened (and from the bit I read from your previous post, it's not good), then move on.
It happened, nothing can change the past, he sure isn't going to make it better, so accept, move on - forgiveness, if it ever comes will be down the road.
Speaking of down the road, sounds like that is where you want to be moving. Being in one of these dysfunctional relationships so long makes it hard to leave. Exhaustion, confusion, self esteem battered.
However, that doesn't have to be your life anymore, the front door opens right up and you can walk right out it today. You are not a hostage (although I'm sure it feels like it sometimes).
Is that what you are planning to do? Leave that is.