Originally Posted by
trailmix 
If that person cannot be relied on (which can be referred to and actually is trust) - then what the heck. If you can't even rely on the person you have chosen to marry/be in a relationship with to have your back (whether that be emotional support, bringing up children or making sure there is milk in the fridge) then what is the point of having a relationship with them at all?
Not making a statement here btw lol - just throwing that out there.
I agree & I still beat my head against the wall about it because it's one thing in theory & another when applying it to Real Life.
The answer to your question is: It depends. If no milk in the fridge is just an aggravation & not a big deal maybe you just deal. If it's a critical issue, you have to trust that you will always provide the milk yourself, stop wasting energy expecting the other person to do it & decide if you want to live this way forever.
I'm explaining this poorly, but these threads were great:
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...one-again.html (How do you trust anyone again?) https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...274-trust.html (Trust) https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...027-trust.html (Trust)
....and there are TONS more if you just search the archives here.
It is SUPER complicated but one thing I realized when I started down this road was that my experiences had jaded my trust in
any/everyone - not just my qualifiers. I had to start internally with trust otherwise I was going to bring my issues with it into any new relationship I started - we take ourselves everywhere we go, right? No matter why or when I had lost trust, I needed to start inside ME to rebuild it properly.