Please get your head checked out, Sweeti. I hope you're ok.
This was the hardest thing for me to understand: external events won't get you sober. They can be the catalyst to change in order to get sober.
But fear is not a recovery plan.
Will you go to inpatient? Will you do the steps with a sponsor? Will you work the recovery worksheets in SMART with a mentor? Will you see an addiction specialist and be honest? Will you post here with a willingness to change?
There's not one path to sobriety, but they all involve change.
I hope you'll use this frightening event to spur you into seeking change.
I'm not saying this to scare you, but I know from experience that the helplessness I felt when I wanted to drink was more powerful than any fear. I swore off drinking after terrifying myself and was often drunk again later that day or the next.
Sweeti, what are you willing to do?
Maybe you could start by writing out all of your problems with drinking. Why you want to quit. Here or in a private journal. Get really, really honest with yourself and hopefully with another person. There is help. But you have to work for it.
But please do something.
