Excellent update. Thank you for telling us how it went.
Sounds like you did and said everything just perfectly.
She is going to do what she is going to do, and at 38years old it's time she learns to sink or swim on her own. The fact she was/is expecting people to facilitate her choices and consequences yet again really does show her delayed development. If a person chooses to become a parent that is supposed to be their responsibility not everyone else's....
I am so glad you have chosen to spend the winter in Florida. Just you and your husband spending time together planning what to do with your golden years. Sounds like a divine gift to each other.After all you have been through together with each other's extended families you deserve this. It's just as much a chance to retire from family drama as it is from work. I hope you make the most of it!
*hugs!*