Good morning, Dreamwithin.
Just checking in to see how you are doing today?
I just took a look at your introduction post and see your story is very similar to mine but almost with a flip reverse.
For years, I was addicted to heroin and then later crack & heroin (24 years active addiction, over 15 yrs clean from that now). I tried NA at various times but in the end, I cleaned up on my own with the help of a supportive GP. I had never been much of a drinker so alcohol didn't really feature in my recovery (not 12 step) for a long time. I went many years where a small drink at New Year and half a lager on holiday were it. Then that changed around 4 years ago. And I have been struggling with alcohol ever since.
I am now 3 weeks sober and to be honest haven't been motivated to do as much as I could do to make things different. But 3 weeks without alcohol is ace and I am pleased. I know to maintain this I am going to need to make some changes and am building up to that.
I am not great at sharing my feelings/struggles but I have looked in on this forum every day, sometimes 3-5 times a day. I think that sticking close has made a difference. I read a lot of the posts and try to give a bit where I can which somehow helps me.
It is hard pushing through feeling physically rubbish but you can do this. You really want to which is a great start. From my own experience, I would say stick closer to this forum than you are right now. I know that you don't want to go back to the fellowship (although you might find NA a different vibe to AA) but sounds like you need to be close to something perhaps?
