Well, you are definitely letting it win. That's not good.
Tats, I could list out several pages of horrible things that have happened to me. Really the worst of human nature being aimed right in my direction. Some of life is truly frightening and incomprehensible.
And yet...
Yet...
There is enough grace for all. There is healing and hope and Life on the other side of addiction and hurt.
I'm sorry. I'd send a hug but frankly internet hugs are only slightly less creepy than real life hugs. Neither are very helpful to me.
We're here. Come back.