What message should we carry??
Hypothetical situation:
Let's say I'm a new guy and I AM, by all accounts and experience (though I may not be fully aware of it myself yet), a full-blown alcoholic - the type described in the big book.
I go to an average group of friends (or family) - GROUP A - and I tell them I have a drinking problem. Odds are those friends will tell me to stop drinking, encourage me to "just say no," recommend I join a gym, get more exercise, make sure I'm getting enough rest, and offer to love me, help me and support me all i could possibly need or want until I can finally grab hold of my willpower and put the drinking problems behind me.
The second group I encounter - GROUP B - is a group of recovered full-blown alcoholics in an AA meeting. When I tell them about my problem, this group suggests several things for me to consider:
1. I may be powerless over alcohol once I start drinking (physical craving for more once I start)
2. I may be powerless to keep myself from drinking again (mental compulsion)
3. Do to my possibly having a spiritual malady (aka - my compulsive need to drive my life by self-will .... unsuccessfully) any "clean time" I'm likely able to put together will likely feel unfulfilling.
This group of ppl goes on to suggest that they found that ONLY through some exhaustive self searching, the leveling of their pride and the admission and confession of their shortcomings combined with a lifetime of dedication to the thought of others and how meet the needs of others, not their own needs/desires were they able to get free of alcohol AND find a lifestyle that they enjoyed.
OK, question time -- no need to answer these here. They're really more questions for us to think about:
To the new guy (me in this example) who really knows nothing about their alcoholism yet -
1. Which message "seems" more supportive?
2. Which message "seems" more kind and loving?
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3. Does what feels good always prove to BE good?
4. Does being confronted with the truth always FEEL good?
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3. Which message IS more supportive/kind and loving?
4. What message do I (you, me, us.....) share in meetings or here on SR in this 12-step forum and the other forums on SR........??