Originally Posted by
Linzey0706 
I’ve always wanted to be strong enough to be one of those women who doesn’t deal with it and is confident in that decision
You can be absolutely. You will have to change the way you view this to do that. Truly the only person you can change is yourself (yes, it's a well worn saying - but that's because it's true). Try not to take it personally, he is an addict doing what addicts do, that has nothing to do with you.
Boundaries. Everyone needs them. You need to have boundaries for your life, including in relationships, not just romantic ones. What are yours? How do you want to be treated, what will you and won't you put up with? Have you heard of the book Codependent no more by Melody Beattie? Lots of good info there about boundaries.
What is your plan? Would you like to travel the world? Get married? Have children? Item A. might be somewhat doable with an addict (as long as you are prepared to really be on your own). The second item is generally a disaster and the third item should be out of the question.
You might find this article interesting, it's about intermittent reinforcement. It might go some way to explaining why you are having such a hard time letting this relationship go?
https://tealswan.com/resources/artic...tionship-r210/