HI Susieq17,
Scapegoat and middle child here as well.
And I agree, I like this about me too: confidence to speak out and truth tell
I did the No Contact thing for years...and then was scapegoated for that as well
But, seriously, I'm in my mid-50's now and I can honestly say that it has DEFINITELY gotten better. And I attribute this to the following:
1. Dysfunction catches up with people. And it caught up with members of my immediate family. Now most of them are stressed and depressed and cannot deal with their own lives - all because they refused to acknowledge the dysfunction that existed in their lives from our FOO. For all the crap I took my entire adult life from them for being in therapy and not 'being strong enough to maintain a relationship' with members of my family (or so I was accused of), I can say my work in therapy has really paid off.
2. A few years ago my mother was confronting her own mortality and I think this inspired her to want to make amends with me (from her own guilt perhaps?) as best she could. And that helped.
3. I practiced serious generosity with them for many years hoping it would make them ease up on the scapegoating. It didn't necessarily do that, but it did give me something to hang over their heads when I needed to - as manipulative as that sounds - I'm pleading guilty to that.
I honestly believe that if you keep your "eye on the prize", so to speak, and be laser-like focused on what your life goals are and keep yourself on that path, it will work itself out in the end.
...or outlive them and get the last word...
Best of luck. I'm interested in knowing how your journey on this goes!