Frustrated with my alcoholic ex boyfriend
I was dating an alcoholic/drug addict for 4 years. When we first met I thought he was just someone who liked to have fun and he would grow out of it. I had no addiction in my family so I was not used to spotting the signs.... and then 2 1/2 years into it I found out that he had hidden from me that he was in rehab for heroin when he was in his early 20's (6 years prior). Despite all of this, I continued to see him but addiction was always clearly an issue. The relationship never progressed, I bought a house and he refused to move in - probably because I would give him **** for his drinking. At one point I found out he was selling coke behind my back. He promised he had stopped and I tried to support him through his journey to being a better person because he would always say, "I am better with you than I have ever been, I need you."
Fast forward to now - we broke up 6 months ago because he was unwilling to seek treatment and thought I was trying to control him, when really I was just trying to get a grasp on my own life and see him get better. We did not speak for a month and after that he tried to contact me and basically has been bothering me weekly if not multiple times a week via text trying to pretend we're still together (calling me babe, saying he wants to see me, take me out etc.) However, I keep trying to put goals infront of him like, If you want me back that badly then I'll see you when you decide on a treatment program. Over the 6 months, he has backed down from treatment. I gave him several options, including hypnotherapy or a better therapist in general as ways that he can set small goals in the right direction. He keeps saying he will follow through with one of the options but never does. He has gone to a total of 2 AA meetings since we have been apart and I am not impressed. Most recently I went on a trip to europe and he said he would have "good news" for me when I got back aka an appointment lined up with an addiction specialist and when I got back he had not done anything. I am so frustrated I just told him to mail my house key back to me and haven't heard a word from him since. I really don't know what to do at this point. Despite everything I still love him but his inability to move in any direction is driving me insane. If I just ghost him completely will he finally get it?