I have tremendous sympathy for those in the UK having to deal with the broken system in place for alcoholics. The US is so much easier. Frankly its a tough social problem and I'm not sure anyone has really figured out how to handle addicts. No doubt its a huge cost to society. But stigmatizing and acting like its a 'moral' issue is ridiculous.
It's good to see you back. The 2 year year mark is a common relapse mark. Oh hell maybe any mark is a common relapse mark. I dunno.
For me, I always remind myself that drinking absolutely won't work. I don't care that I'm an addict, I don't care about control or normal drinking. Not sure I ever was a normal drinker, even when alcohol didn't really screw up my life.
I've had a bit of a crap storm life for a couple of years. Not all bad, not at all. But hard. Very very hard. And there have been many times that I've wanted to drink. But the stark reality is, it won't help. My brain will suggest the idea, and I have to, almost sadly, accept it won't do a darn thing. It isn't just I don't drink, or I won't drink. Its, why bother? Nothing will change. Well, not true. Life will suck even more. Ha! That doesn't sound very hopeful. Just real.
Glad you are back and keep us posted!