Hi Eve,
I am sorry to hear that you are feeling so rubbish. We have all been there or we wouldn't be here on this forum.
I am back on Day 4 so I hear you loud and clear. When I posted to say I had drunk again Livingonwishes said to me
"Once you start believing you can it becomes easier to achieve!!"
Maybe try hanging on to this instead of beating yourself up? It will be more useful.
Tomorrow is another day. You can do this.