I believe grief can ebb and flow for a long time. For myself, I went through grief while I was still married to my qualifier. I have also been divorced 5 years. I felt grief when I truly realized that nothing was going to change.
However, now if I let it, anxiety will creep in as we still coparent together, if that is what you can call it. I have to give that my focus as I have a lot going on in life and it can easily take over.
Bekindalways.....I feel for you as well. My father has late stage alzheimers and we are going through that right now, it's gut wrenching.
Sending you a big hug!