Originally Posted by trailmix

This is just my thought on this but you are hurting yourself by being so involved with what he is up to.

You have filed the divorce papers, he is moving out.

Inpatient, outpatient, today, tomorrow, Wednesday, just doesn't matter because it really has nothing to do with you and isn't on your side of the street.



Now, all is not lost there, maybe. Maybe a year from now he will have a steady year of sobriety under his belt and you two might start dating each other again, who knows!

That said, you two seem to have a very dysfunctional give and take - well more give on his part - he makes proclamations and you react to them. Please understand this is NOT a criticism of you. There is always a crazy dynamic in dysfunctional relationships - it's the nature of it, alcohol involved or not, the alcohol just ups the ante.

It's kind of imperative for you to get out of the FOG (fear, obligation, guilt) for some time to break that, it is damn near impossible to do while staying in the same living arrangement. Somewhat like quitting drinking while working in a bar.

Him moving out is perhaps his best chance and yours and maybe your best chance as a couple in the future. Try not to think of it as a negative? It's not really.

Now, I know you have made your decision, but you still have a road to go. I hope you stick to your boundaries and give yourself a chance to heal, you deserve peacefulness and contentment and happiness you know, you don't need your life to be a drama-fest day after day. You must be exhausted.