Thanks liddy for the welcome... I hope this gives me the strength that I need. I have been so lonely inside for so long. I am miserable with it. I have tried to convince myself that I need the help in dealing with it. I am nervous about going to a meeting but I realize that I will have to do it for a first time. i am sure I will meet a lot of wonderful people. This message board has been a comfort just for the past day or so. I am feeling good in feeling that I will not let the alcohol destroy me too through my husband. I just love him so much and love the US so much that I wish he would realize what a poison it is. Hopefully, through me gaining some strength, he will begin to see it.. gotta run... classroom calls on monday morning.. have a great week....... i will be checking in...