Originally Posted by
fml23 
Thanks, everyone. I have been totally NC with her for over a year, only through the attorneys. It’s a little messier with STBXAH bc I struggle with my own boundaries and it’s so intoxicating to believe THIS stretch of sobriety will take. Once the order of protection was lifted, he was in recovery, I kinda relaxed the boundaries and then, inevitably, he relapses and I feel stupid. Also, we have a child and so that’s a hard balance. I try to be calm and as distant and detached as possible.
And yes, I did try to settle out of court. Lawsuits are expensive (no matter who is at fault) and with being a single mom/breadwinner I thought settling without litigation was the right approach. I know the lawsuit will eventually end, but in the meantime, things are bad.
Mostly, I’m feeling really really grief stricken over the relapse. I know it’s not my problem, but it’s just so messed up. And disappointing.
These lunatics always have to have their day in court. My ex was the same way. Rejecting a myriad of reasonable agreements because he wanted a big, drama-filled showdown. He said he was going to "destroy me" in court, whatever that means.
Ultimately, he ended up looking like a mentally deteriorated alcoholic with an axe to grind, and he walked away with way less than he would have with any of the agreements I offered.
Keep hanging tough. You are a mighty mama and we're here for you.
