Dazed.....you would be surprised at how people would be responsive to you...if you just give them a chance. If you can call them "friend"....even an "old" friend....reach out to them in your need. after all, almost everybody has someone that they know is an alcoholic, or has one in their family...even if they haven't talked about it, openly.....
Do NOT let there be any excuse for not getting the human support that you need, right now!
In addition to reaching out to a friend...you can also call and talk to a domestic violence worker (you qualify) due to emotional abuse.....they will talk to you in a very understanding way and even offer help to you...you can talk to them 24/7.....
You can go to an alanon meeting , tomorrow.....they will understand, because they have walked in these same shoes....they understand, beyond mere words....
And, you have US, of course, but I think you need a human(s) close to you, right now.
We humans are wired to be very social...and, human contact is the most comforting and healing thing that there is!
I hear that you are depressed.....and, you can always call a hotline if you are freaking out, in the middle of the night...the hot line to the domestic workers or the suicide hotline...they exist to talk to and help you.....
There ARE options....you just have to reach out your hand...…
LOl...I don't care if your father is 90....he understood that you don't have to live like this. he sounds wise in that way....there is no age on compassion and caring....and, you need that right how!