Originally Posted by
trailmix 
I understand this but how are you addressing it?
Does he actually relapse fml or does he just have periods, maybe even longish periods where he doesn't drink. I went back and read some of your posts and 7 years ago when you first posted he was an on again off again drinker.
Always working on staying sober.
Now, nothing wrong with that and good that he tries, but why are you taking that ride with him? He has never shown you that he is really ever going to have any kind of long term recovery. He is abusive, has punched you in front of your child, he grabbed you by the throat.
Until you take the focus off of him and his woes and put it on yourself, you can expect more of the same hurt. You have hooked yourself up to his wagon and that's a totally unsafe place to be, mentally and physically.
I think you would be safe to believe that until he has 5 years of continuous sobriety under his belt that he is not in recovery, period. Actions. His actions are the actions of someone who drinks. Please don't be disappointed when he does.
your post really struck a nerve and made me angry and hurt. I find sometimes that the comments about ‘when are you getting off the ride’ to be overtly judgmental. Maybe it’s unclear from my post, but I have no day to day interactions with STBXAH. We do have a child and a lawsuit we’re tied together on, so there are regular texts and emails. So yes, I found out he’s drinking bc we’re in contact trying to get documents signed for this lawsuit! Which is exactly why I came on here to post! And yes, I do know the difference between trying not to drink and sobriety with a program. I’m not wearing rose colored glasses, but yeah, it really does hurt when, once again, he bombs himself. I don’t like having my previous posts thrown in my face. The cycle of abuse is real. And nobody has a right to judge my journey and how fast or slow I go. Abuse and alcoholism suck. If there’s some magic pill to get to Buddha level detachment, please share. For now, I’m gonna give myself the space to vent and talk about my grief without also feeling ashamed about my feelings. The worst part about trying to heal is exactly that. Understanding how to forgive myself for believing in and loving a person who hurt me.