Originally Posted by
fml23 
Mostly, I’m feeling really really grief stricken over the relapse. I know it’s not my problem, but it’s just so messed up. And disappointing.
I understand this but how are you addressing it?
Does he actually relapse fml or does he just have periods, maybe even longish periods where he doesn't drink. I went back and read some of your posts and 7 years ago when you first posted he was an on again off again drinker.
Always working on staying sober.
Now, nothing wrong with that and good that he tries, but why are you taking that ride with him? He has never shown you that he is really ever going to have any kind of long term recovery. He is abusive, has punched you in front of your child, he grabbed you by the throat.
Until you take the focus off of him and his woes and put it on yourself, you can expect more of the same hurt. You have hooked yourself up to his wagon and that's a totally unsafe place to be, mentally and physically.
I think you would be safe to believe that until he has 5 years of continuous sobriety under his belt that he is not in recovery, period. Actions. His actions are the actions of someone who drinks. Please don't be disappointed when he does.