Originally Posted by
trailmix 
My first Husband drank quite frequently initially. I drank on the weekends too, we had a blast. He no doubt drank more than "normal".
He wasn't and isn't an alcoholic. After we got married and things settled down a bit he pretty much quit drinking altogether. It wasn't even a really conscious choice I don't think, for me either, it's the way life goes as you accumulate more responsibility.
And that, I think in many cases, is exactly what happens, except in the case of an alcoholic or someone who becomes an alcoholic during that "fun" time, as you well know it progresses, then what.
Then there is the person that is already an alcoholic or on the road to becoming one, he or she may not drink every day, maybe 2-3 times a week to excess before it starts to progress. They aren't going through withdrawals (yet) they aren't bothered by huge hangovers and kindling (yet).
Relationships don't generally start out like AA meetings, Hi, I'm ..... and I'm an alcoholic.
You're right. It's true in all relationships. We get involved at the low info level with each other. When after a time, we wake up to reality and come to realize our potential partner is sick, unstable, or even a bit insane, then comes the messy breakup, where we find ourselves asking, "How did I get involved with this person to begin with?" All new relationships by definition start at a zero information level.
All too often we forget the words of our elders who had this "silly" idea that you should get to know the other person before jumping in with both feet. Although it does work out sometimes. Sometimes not.
Oddly, I met a talkative woman at the park yesterday, who for some reason related that her husband was a lot of fun before he quit drinking. I get that too. Social drinking is a source of fun for a lot of people. Although for me, I now believe it's unnecessary. There's lots of other ways to have fun.