I confess.. I knew mine had a drinking problem
And I saw it very early in our relationship. Then he got an ASBO and I dumped him. But being the naive silly sod I am... I took him back. In fairness he quit drinking for me. (OK..he SHOULD have quit for him). He was sober for over 4yrs or more and it was a very slow fall off the wagon. Once he started on the real booze it spiralled quickly.
Most people think alcoholics are like the ranting homeless guy on the street. We really don't understand addiction you see what you want in a relationship. For a brief a spell.. The longest he'd been sober since he started drinking as a teenager... I got a wonderful, focused lovely bloke. I didn't understand that he was STILL an alcoholic who should have had professional support. I just saw a loving bloke who quit drinking for me.. [insert Disney music here].
If he came back tomorrow and said he wanted to quit I'd say.. Quit, join AA, get all the professional help you need. I'll support you as a friend. But we will not have any sort of emotional relationship until at least a year cos I need to know what kind of brain I'm gonna get. Who are you gonna become once your sober.. And then.. Do I even want a relationship with a man who could relapse at any time? Cos now I know just a little bit about addiction. And I know about co-dependancy. [insert terribly sad music.. Lots of violin and possibly child wailing in the background]