Its so hard but i have looked at your past posts and you just keep trying..one of these times it will stick...never give up trying.
I was trying for the past 2 years...and like you...I really wanted to stop but couldn't STAY stopped...programs help but for me it is really about the mind, body and soul REALLY being sick enough to acquire a healthy fear of what alcohol is doing to your mind, body and soul....and to be ready for battle against this crazy addiction ..no matter what it takes.
Some people can put down the drink and never drink again and some people can not...I was one that could not...But I never gave up...Good to see you here.