Hi emma,
Self-doubt, self-isolation and negative spiralling can be hallmarks of this family disease of alcoholism. Things don't change simply because the alcoholic isn't currently in our lives.
What types of help/support/recovery plans have you sought in the past or are currently making use of?
Yes, things can and do get better. There are many things we can learn to do that will bring about quicker, faster changes.
Going beyond the familiar, there's a really big, wonderful world for us to experience. A friend told me, "all the joy and happiness you'll ever want are right outside your comfort zone." There's been a lot of truth in those words.