It sounds like he has literally walked out on you and the kids (repeatedly). I am glad you think you deserve more than this, because you do. It sounds like you are embarking on the process of mental separation, choosing to see his behavior as a manifestation of his own problems rather than as something that you provoked (or are responsible for fixing). I am really sorry you have to put up with this for now, but it sounds like you have a clear view of what's going on.