Originally Posted by WeThinkNot

I can relate to that.

The silliness and carefree buzz that you speak of was eons ago for me. In the final days of my drinking I had three settings: feeling deathly ill with unbearably shaky hands, feeling and looking normal while doing my 24/7 drinking, or completely passed out. I've trained my rational brain to realize that it is impossible to ever again achieve that pleasant buzz that normies can attain. So when the AV starts whispering sweet nothings in my ear I shut it down on the spot.

In recovery I don't think I've ever heard anybody share the perspective of working to a state of Zen and not living in a state of peace. That is interesting to me. All I can say is that my soul is content these days and I absolutely would not want it any other way. I don't think waking up feeling refreshed with a clear head will ever get old to me even if I achieve fifty years of sobriety. I don't miss broken relationships with loved ones nor do I miss feeling empty on the inside. It's a cliché for a reason: in the end I was just so damn sick and tired of being so damn sick and tired all the damn time.

2 1/2 months is still early, I believe if you keep working your program you will miss wine less and less as the days go by.