Hi Sasperilla and welcome.
You will find many stories similar to yours as you read through the threads on this forum.
Have you check out
Al-Anon at all, you might find meetings help give you the tools to relieve some of that resentment and anger.
There is also a wealth of knowledge in the stickies at the top of the forum. This is a good place to start if you are interested:
https://www.soberrecovery.com/forums...c-reading.html (Classic Reading)
There are many here that have been in your shoes. Keep posting!