Congrats on 2.5 months. That is great.
Well addiction is powerful. So powerful that I was able to over look things that a non addict would think were awful. Or minimize them. That enabled me to go back to drinking over and over, thinking 'this time' it won't be 'that' bad. Maybe it will 'work'.
That lack of acceptance kept booze on the table as an option. So I drank off and on, a year sober, 2 years sober, 6 months, a year again, etc etc until the drinking was so awful that not even I could rationalize using it again. And, my consequences aren't the normal ones (loss of jobs, family, home, money, legal ) but I was literally losing my mind. And my soul.
So I had to accept that I was completely bs-ing myself. For a helluva long time. And even still, my addiction likes to mess with me. So, I have to recognize its games for what they are. Ploys to get me to drink. That is all.
Lies.