I was also a quit or die person; fear has been a major part of my recovery. Even if you don't go to AA, getting a good handle on the first step is a big help: "Admitted we were powerless over alcohol and our lives had become unmanageable". Getting it at a deep gut level that I can't have one drink because when I take that drink I can't stop. It's never too late to stop. If I can go from drinking a magnum of wine every day for a decade to sobriety, anyone can. Big hug!!